You mentioned before you went into super husband mode and thought if you did everything right she would have a change of heart. That's a very 'nice guy' type mentality. NMMNG would be a good book to read if you havent. It's something I had huge issues with. Covert contracts were another dynamic that I think plagues us nice guys and something maybe to look into. Generally were codependent also do understanding why is another helpful thing to do.
Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be
