I too can soooooo relate. My H was my best friend. He cut me off cold turkey I went through a true withdrawal. Not being able to talk to him and be with him. He was the one person that "got me" that I felt completely myself with. So was it all a lie? Makes me question who I am that I believed in him every time he explained away a text or email from her
Jpeg...I know what you're saying. I also know you cannot put blame on yourself for trusting someone who said you could trust them. There is nothing wrong with you for having a trusting heart! Wouldn't it be exhausting to be suspicious all the time?
Jpeg and Judy, it is completely devastating and confusing losing your best friend. I agree. And then even harder is realizing that you can only control you and until he/she is ready, we have to detach. But then who do you call with that funny joke or on that lonely night? Definitely stinks.
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
I think I'm getting close to dropping the rope. It saddens me, but doesn't devastate me. I'm still adamant that he needs to choose to leave as his complaints of me making decisions for him, but more and more I'm wishing he'd make that choice.
Is that wrong?
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
I know what you mean about limbo. I am not sure how you have managed to live in the same house together in that perpetual state. It shows how well you are doing with staying detached.
Do you think he is hoping you file to take some guilt off of himself?
Super impressed with your strength!
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
I think he wants me to do it so then he can say that "I" ended it, when that's not what I want. Also as you said he won't be as guilty. I'm glad you see it as strength....some days I feel like I'm just surviving. Taking my little one on a trip next weekend and am totally looking forward to it.
How are you?
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
We were never immune, we were just naďve I guess. Who would ever dream that this love of our lives would ever be capable of causing us such pain.
Your husband has been in his mlc for a while and who knows how long he will be there. It sounds like he has been more engaged in your sons live so that is a good thing.
Have you contacted a lawyer yet to get dome legal advice to better understand your rights and what you can expected?
Hi Elly, I am sorry I did not respond to you question earlier, I have been distracted and not on my game. You had asked me how I deal with my wife's silent treatment. I have accepted that she has her issues, she is going to IC and because of this she does not want to talk to me.
As an academic exercise it is not so hard to deal with, this is where she is, show I show her compassion. On the other hand, emotionally I equate it with inconsiderate, ill mannered, cruel and rude behavior. I am hurt, feeling pain and sorrow when she does this to me. It hurts more when one of our kids or the dog comes in the room and "happy wife" appears for them.
I guess part of your question is how do I manage my emotional reaction to her behavior. I acknowledge my feelings but let them go, understanding that this behavior is linked to her struggle. Some days are harder then others but I try to treat her with the love in my heart.
So my plan is to keep treating her with loving kindness and compassion. I will put my feelings aside and be supportive of my wife. Hopefully this will work out in my favor, if not I still did the right thing by her.
If she come down with laryngitis I'll never know.
Anytime the silence is getting to you, give me a holler.
