"As you may recall, my wife has serious emotional issues ranging from panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts - and she is seeing therapists (two different ones) for those"
^ that is pretty heavy stuff my friend. You can't fix that for her. She's doing a good job by getting therapy, you have to let her find her way.
What you CAN do is detach. Realize that you are not dealing with a stable person at the moment. What do unstable people do? They act unstable. They go from loving to wanting to run, back to loving, to saying we will NEVER get a divorce, back to asking for a divorce.
Her mind is a battle field. Take heart that some of these issues have absolutely nothing to do with you, although she may think so.
My first W was bipolar. She left me because she thought I was the devil. When she first left, she was as happy as could be. She finally gotten rid of her unhappiness (me). Fast forward 10 years later - she has had about 7 relationships, had her house foreclosed on, electricity turned off (she has a good job mind you), car repossessed etc. The list goes on and on.
Guess who called me the other day? My ex-wife. She told me she has made a mess of her life and didn't realize she had it so good with me. I was stable and consistent. When she first left, I did the same thing you did. I recalled all the good stuff, "she told me loved me 500x last week" etc.
Do you see what I'm saying? You are wrapped up in her issues and some if not most of them have nothing to do with you.
Once you realize that, you can start to detach and take a step back and see the situation from an outsiders point of view.
Do yourself a favor and google "codependency". Read about it and then talk to your counselor about it.
