Just read your thread. Your W clearly has mental health issues and has been working on them in counseling (that's great!).
What I know about people with these issues (my WAW is a recovering alcoholic) is that they are sometimes compulsive and react without thinking. You can't change that, you can't fix it, you can't talk her out of it.
What you can do is change you and how you react. Has your counselor ever mentioned anything to you about being co-dependent? Often people in relationships with people with addictions and mental health issues are co-dependent.
I would encourage you to discuss it with your counselor. Also, read "Co-dependent No More" by Melanie Beatty. It was an eye opener for me.
There is something very freeing when you surrender to the fact that you can't control others. It allows you to place the focus back on you and let the chips fall where they may.
