Thanks. My original post was so long that I thought I would just restate my questions here:
1. I am trying to do the opposite of what I have for so many years where I was silent and we could go weeks without any real discussion between us. Do I initiate discussion with her (opposite of my previous actions) or is this too smothering? Some of the techniques in both of the book as well as on here describe detachment or aloofness and in some ways that would not be the opposite for me. So I'm a little confused as to how I should act.
2. I have not broached the topic of her emotional affair since our initial discussion yes I know it is continuing. I drafted a note to her but essentially told her that I understood why she was seeking an emotional connection because that had been lacking from me for so long. I further stated that I knew her emotional affair was escalating and knew she had plans to meet and let her know how this made me feel and that it was not acceptable to me. But I have not run this conversation with her and at this point do not think that I will. Should I say anything more to her say anything more to her about my knowledge there or do I let it lay there?
3. She is planning a weekend a way to meet him in about 3 weeks. She has already started laying the groundwork fabricating the reason why she will be gone that weekend. Do I continue to let her weave this lie without saying anything? Do I just sit back and let her go on this weekend when I know what it will entail? If so, do I confront her when she returns telling her that I know the real reason for her trip ? Upon her return do I ask that she no longer sleep in the same bed (as Sandi has suggested in some of her other comments)?
