Give anything for a time machine to go back and fix this.
I know you dont see it now, but that wouldnt have worked. I will not regret my actions in my marriage, because I didnt know any better. I didnt have the tools to do the job. Would you expect a carpenter to build a house without any nails?
For me, I NEEDED to go through this process in order to someday have a successful relationship. I know what I want out of a partnership. I know what I have to give to have a good partnership.
There may be a chance that I can give that to my W someday. But if not, I will have a better, stronger, more fulfilling relationship with whomever it is.
She's posting pics of her mom on IG about wishing she was here now so she could talk to her. I'm thinking the antidepressants and lack of me talking is already sinking in
She's posting pics of her mom on IG about wishing she was here now so she could talk to her. I'm thinking the antidepressants and lack of me talking is already sinking in
Could be.
Could be "lady problems".
Could be a gas leak.
Could be that she needs help picking out an outfit.
Who knows? Im not sure mindreading will be helpful right now.
3 days NC! That's great Johne, you will see the dynamics change the longer it is, it has to!
Be patient and pray often!
I have been going through this for 1 year and 2 months. Recently I asked for the D since nothing was changing, I became her friend.. Not what I wanted if I had followed the rules.
I Should have been distant since the beginning.
Good luck my friend, you are doing it! Keep at it.
I am a success story here. My ordeal happened a little over a year ago and I ended up reconciling with my WAW. It was absolutely one of the most painful things I've gone through.
Regarding going dark, I went complete and total NC for one month after the bomb. I helped her pack and then went pitch black dark. It was excruciating for me. My mind constantly went to worse case scenarios. Where was she? Who was she with? Did she ever love me to begin with? How could this be so easy for her?
I came here every day when I was on the verge of folding. I listened to the vets and trusted them.
She then texted me exactly one month after she left. To ask when she could pick up her things (that was gut wrenching). I stayed polite and told her she could pick them up whenever convenient. I remember this overwhelming feeling to start talking about our relationship etc. I didn't though because the vets said not to.
We then went back to NC for about another 3 weeks. Awful. I won't get into too much detail but after we reconciled, she told me was dying as much as I was. I had in her mind respected her decision to leave and let her go. This was the turning point for her. Eventually we slowly started texting jokes and non-relationship stuff and rest is history.
Whatever you do, stay off her social media, do not text, do not call, do not email. Just like DR says, act as if you are moving on with your life (even though you are dying inside).
It is hard not to fold. Like the other day I saw one of her cousins said a friend of his liked my wife and thought she was hot. Then he asked to message him so he could say who it was and that the guy had just friended her on Facebook. I was like holy crap. All I could do not to say something to her.
Yep. I remember right after my bomb, she had all these new pics on Facebook with her in a new running group with all these fit guys etc. That really messed with me.
I was having anxiety attacks and she was out with her new running group. Good times...
