Lonely Hearts Club

[beckyb]

I have been having a tough time the last few days too. Each time something happens to move the D forward I have a little set back. I'm trying once again to focus on one day at a time. I find if I try to figure out the future too much I start to panic.

[Avanti]

...I hope it gets better after the D is out of the way...

Just for my benefit, why is a piece of paper saying you are divorced going to make you feel better?

Isn't what you said tantamount to wishing your life away? What would you say to someone who was doing that?

[Ancaire]

Becky, I feel your pain, you know I do. I'm actually making plans to take the next year to fully concentrate on health, mind, and spirit. I really need it. I need some healing time, and a change of scenery.

Have you tried imagining something fun you can do at the end of this trial?

[beckyb]

I am looking forward to moving into a new place and decorating. It's something I love to do. I just never imagined I be starting over b6 myself. That is the biggest source of my anxiety.

[Rouky]

Shotgun please go and see you doctor about Prozac. It shouldn't have that effect on you. I took some anti-depressant myself, and after a week I could feel the fog lifted. I'm worried and concerned that you have been given something that is doing the opposite of what it should.

For all the financial arrangement and D paperwork, could your sister gives you a hand.? I know it's hard to ask for help, but I reached out to my siblings and they have been of a great support as they were able to provide me with a different view of things. Before I'd have seen asking for help as a weakness but now it's a strength as you are admitting that you are only human, and from time to time you need support.

I also realise how much stress you must be under as our society portrays men as strong, reliable, a rock when everything goes wrong. I think this is wrong as we are all human being, with a heart, emotion and feelings!

You are getting up everyday (that is a plus) , you are spending time with your son (another plus). Sometimes to shift our mind, we need to start small. Try see what can be positive in your day. Feeling the sunshine on your face ( I do hope you get more than I do a cross the Atlantic:-)), give a hug to your kid, speak to him on the phone.

Mind is a powerful tool that can destroy us or enrich us, choose the second option. I went through what you are experiencing at the moment, you can get out of it but you need to start small. See the little nice things in your day ( your favourite song, coffee), then you'll train your brain to see the positive.

You have so much to offer, don't let go of who you have become. Nobody said it would be an easy ride, but you can surf the wave or let it drown you, and I know that you are a fighter and that you'd rather surf it than drown.

I know you can do it, and I believe in you. Keep your chin up :-).

Praying for you :-)

[shotgun]

Don't give up on me Rouky. I just thought that things would be getting easier by now. Yoga class last night helped a little. Good point about getting help from siblings. I haven't been reaching out to them much lately. Feeling a little isolated.

As for the medication I will see how this weekend goes and if I don't feel better by Monday I'll call the doctor. I have no experience with this type of medication so don't know what to expect. I feel like I am under incredible stress and not sure if this medication helps with that.

As to your suggestion to look for the positive in my day I will work on that. The weather has been perfect here and I have been lucky enough to have been outside in it and need to be more thankful. I will have S13 this weekend so that will be fun and we will do something together. I am having such a hard time when he isn't with me. The weekend he is with his mom is tough.

Thanks for the encouraging words and the strength you always send my way. Ready to take you up on that drink. Tonight I will have a glass in your honor!

[shotgun]

Avanti you make a good point about the divorce not making me feel better. I think it is just the dread of it that I would like to have out of the way. I feel like I can begin to heal once it is finalized. I don't know when the loneliness will go away but it is so overwhelming at this point.

[Avanti]

You know the answer to loneliness don't you, GAL. :-)

What do you have scheduled and if nothing what could you plan to do in the next day or so?

There are no excuses including I don't feel like it, here, you are going to have to fake it until you make it or act as if in DB speak.

[Rouky]

Make it two glasses, as can only drink spirits not wine :-). I haven't given up on you, was just trying to boost you. Ok, diplomacy isn't my specialism but at least with me what you see is what you get :-).

I can see how hard it is for you, but think about your boy. How it must make him feel if he sees you sad? It mustn't be either easy for him having his parents separated, so he needs to see his dad coping the best way he can with given the situation. You are setting him a good example :-). No matter what life throws at you, you always bounce back.

It is a rough patch we are in, and I do feel lonely too! My nickname at school was chatter box! So you can imagine how hard it is for me to talk to myself :-)! As Avanti said earlier, go out: even if you don't feel like it, force yourself to to it, then it'll come naturally to free a while.

Hang on :-)

[shotgun]

Thanks Rouky I needed to hear that. My son needs to see me face this with dignity and strength. I can do a better job of dealing with this. He has great sympathy toward my situation but I don't want him to think that he has to take care of me. I always get a boost from your comments and find my way back to the center!

Avanti I am really struggling with GAL. I am in such a funk right now. I feel the need to get out socially but am finding a million reasons not to. I need to get a plan and get off of my butt. I will check back with you both and let you know how it goes.