AM, it might be more productive to start a new thread.
That said, have you read the archives Cadet posted? I think you'll find that very helpful in helping to understand what's going on.
Generally speaking a MLCr will go through all kinds of turmoil. Anger, guilt, remorse, no feelings, etc. Often in the space of a few minutes. Very tumultuous. It's a long journey to right the ship. Some do and some don't. Some want to rekindle relationships later and some don't. Some just want to get off the sickening ride and go back to a place that was more peaceful.
How can you tell? You can't by looking at how others experiences went. You can however be a good listener, take one day at a time, live your life and figure out what you want to do. Much like you did when you were dating
Each day is a gift. Choose to accept it or don't. Choose to enjoy it as it comes to you or don't. Choose to let her into your life. Or don't.
There are no guarantees. You will want to look for commitment. It's not enough to be "trying" to get into your life when it comes to trust. That's more like using you and not much of a foundation. But you'll know when you can trust if you don't give it to easily and if you proceed with love and kindness.
Go read the links Cadet posted. And when you have, read them again. It'll help greatly. When you do that, come back and journal or post questions. You'll get some good advice here. You'll get some that won't work for you as well, but you'll know what that looks like.
Good luck and enjoy the cake!
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
