So now the bad news... I got served last week. Its really nasty. She did it when she new I was going to be out of town. I have to get my ducks in a row quick.
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
Met with L yesterday, she is awesome. Im just a little worried about the cost and how far this could go. Got a text from W and politely told her I would rather not communicate with her unless its directly related to our girls. Of course I got a couple pi$$y texts after that which I ignored. I cant believe how I was so floored 2-3 months ago that she didn't want me anymore and treated me so bad to now I cant stand to look at her, speak to her or even really think about her. She has been so brutally heartless and cold for the last 4 months doing things that would make your skin crawl. It has turned a lifelong love into a strong disdain very quickly. I don't want her back. I want my kids back and am growing increasingly concerned about how her attitude towards men, fathers and husbands will affect them longer term. In short, I am worried about having 3 little future divorcees. Please wish me luck and pray for me as my battle has just begun.
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
I want my kids back and am growing increasingly concerned about how her attitude towards men, fathers and husbands will affect them longer term. In short, I am worried about having 3 little future divorcees.
Both parents have good and/or bad influence on their daughters. Your relationship (including teaching conversations) is so important in what type of role they have in future relationships with men. Every father should be a hero to his daughter. Not the superman type, but living and teaching her about self value and respecting the other person in relationships.
It is very sad that their mother seems to have taken on the same attitude toward men that her own mother has. Your W was probably influenced by that bad attitude of MIL for most of her life.
It will be a challenge, but with a show of strength and leadership......and talking to the girls as they grow up, I believe it's possible for them to develop a better viewpoint of the respected roles in a MR.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Have you read "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" by Dr. Meg Meeker? This is exactly what the book teaches with amazing life examples. It was a life changer for me. Unfortunately now I have this rather large obstacle to work around, but I will. Your words are a direct reflection of the book and definitely help to strengthen my resolve.
I always thought I was treating my wife how I wanted the future boyfriends and husbands of my daughters to treat them. Lead by example. Now I have to do it from a distance and reduced time but I will still do it as best I can.
Thank you Sandi.
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
Yes, each one is very different and I am trying my best to adapt to each ones uniqueness and sensitivities. Its tough, they all seem to think this is all my fault. I am thinking that counselling may be best for each of them to get through this.
I understand your comment about pink elephants and divorcees. Of course I am not coming out and saying don't treat men like your mother does. I am trying to BE the kind of man I want them to be with. To treat the women in my life, other women and people in general the way that they should expect to be treated.
M: 48 W: 45 Married: 16 years D1-14, D2-11, D3-9 BD: May 29 She moved out 2 weeks later with kids Awaiting mediation
