Shall I Ask her about the affair...

[Mr me]

Do you think I should instigate the next 'date' time, or let her decide?

Have the two of you been dating since she's returned home?

Yes went out last Sunday had a really nice afternoon together didn't talk about the M just enjoyed the day also arranged more time together this Sunday

I'm also SCARED that in a months time she will say nope the magic is there for her and she will go again (I have not mentioned this to W) and I will be back on the precipice looking over the edge.

No, that's not the biggest problem you have. The biggest, is if she stays under her terms, which are.....no intimate relationship with you; no effort in working on the MR; and for her to live her life apart from you.

You still haven't given us background.

Can you list what you've done that would be considered DBing, since she's returned home?

Being positive.
Sorting dinners
Looking into W eyes every time she talks
Not initiated any conversations
Not getting emotional
Cleaning tidying and not reliant on W to sort

Do you have a plan of action? I don't think you do. You seem very confused about what it is you should do.

My plan is to get her back, your right I am confused.

Since she's returned, how many times have you left her sitting home in the evenings, while you went out to GAL?

None I've not gone out at all except to work

Are you still discussing your thoughts & feelings with her?

I didn't want to as I didn't want to appear weak, should I discuss them, if so how?
Should I mention how hurt I am at her having the A? Didn't want to lead her to questions about the future as didn't want to trap her