RAI, this is going to have to be from my perspective, I can't speak to your unique circumstances. So let's imagine that H had sent that letter to me. I would reply as I suggested primarily because I have three kids with him and it's better for my children if we have a friendly relationship. I'd reply that way because there are a lot of weddings, births, baptisms, birthday parties, and another round of weddings in our future and I'm going to have to sit beside him and make pleasant chit chat for a lot of years to come. I'd reply that way because I have a wonderful future and bitterness and anger and grudge holding are not part of it. I'd reply that way because I need to give him the benefit of the doubt and entertain the possibility that was the best apology he could offer up with his limited resources. I'd reply that way because our D is not yet final and I want to be on as good terms as possible while we make our negotiations, an angry spouse is not a generous one.
Some of those reasons are more noble than others, some more practical. In the end, you may find that none of them are worthy and reject them all. That's OK, I'm not trying to talk you into anything. I'm just saying that would be my purpose.
