Thanks, SunnyB, for the New Year wishes. And to all the other Jewish DBers, Happy New Year! May it be a sweet new year filled with health and satisfaction.
Yesterday was Yom Kippur - another Jewish holiday. It is a time for repentance and forgiveness. i.e. a very hard time for a LBS. In order to sincerely ask for forgiveness, the person seeking it must do three things: 1) Admit what they did/are doing 2) Stop the offending action 3) Take steps to prevent it from happening again And, BTW, the individual needs to ask for forgiveness in person - i.e. face to face.
In this spirit, I received an email from WW on the eve of the holiday. I am reproducing parts of it here to help me parse through it, and to vent. I have altered it a little so that it is not searchable.
Quote:
So much time has gone by and there has been so much hurt that I don't recognize either of us anymore.
Not surprising. The old RAI was betrayed and taken for a fool. I am not your friend. Sorry - that's just the way it is. The old W is also dead. The WW that has replaced her is lost in a fog of her own self-interests.
Quote:
I don't want to go back and forth about who did what and who said what.
*BLAMESHIFTING ALERT*. How convenient! It is easier to ignore the huge *ongoing* A that devastated our M. I could see how going back and forth would dredge up all that nonsense. P.S. nothing I said caused you to have the A. Nice try, though.
Quote:
in the spirit of the holiday I want to sincerely apologize for the pain I have caused you.
Sincerely? See above for what a sincere apology looks like.
Quote:
I know I have caused you too much hurt for one person to bare[sic].
A bit self aggrandizing, aren't you? I think I can bear it and I am doing great.
Quote:
I am asking 4 forgiveness but not expecting you to.
WW always does this. She needs to be the martyr/victim. By not forgiving her, I am the wicked, harsh, unforgiving H. What she really wants is absolution. If/when I forgive her, it will be for ME, on my terms, to help me let go. It ain't happening while we are under the same roof and while I am receiving anonymous menacing text messages, that's for sure.
Quote:
I know there is no going back
And live a lie? Why would I want to do that? Ironically, this is the only thing WW got right in this letter.
Quote:
I hope that you will one day see me differently.
Me too, because you're not looking too pretty right now.
It is amazing that even though WW thinks she is being kind, she is just opening up the wound and causing more pain. I would much rather have NOT received this email. I have said everything I want to say in this post. I am not replying to her email. Does anyone feel otherwise? Should I reply? Let's open up the floor.
RAI
P.S. Sunny, check out "my 120 lb journey" on Youtube. It 's about a guy (Ben Davis) who became a runner. Very inspirational. I cry every time I watch it. Perhaps if you really want to run a marathon, all you have to do is "do it".
