Rough night of sleep and feeling down this morning. So strange that I know things are coming but the reality of them hit so hard. I had some dreams of w moving out and having talks with me about everything. Crazy that my mind can make such harsh words come out of her mouth.
Trying to wrap my head around more that she is done. I think I have been telling myself that I will do all of the right things that she will have a change of heart. I know I was doing everything for the wrong reason. I now need to drop the rope and kick it away.
I think back to the early months of this and am so angry at myself for trying to be super husband and fix everything. I have her so much and was just used. I also need to do something about seeing all of our pictures in the house together, it just pushes memories back into my brain and makes me feel how can this be real.
On to myself, I have been keeping up with gym, involved in rugby again, done lots of activities with kids, golf, but I still feel I am not doing enough or I am missing something.
this was a post from this morning on my old thread. I will add one more copy as well.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
