Welcome to piecing- Glad to see you here!! We're here to guide you to success!
Christine is right on, this is exactly the pattern I have been experiencing too. I am at a late-intermediate point where H is still throwing daggers, but it's intermixed with "us" talk and intimacy too. I got the "women find me hot" too!! LOL- Classic one. Wouldn't it just be nice to put them on mute or something! KEY to see all those words as "discontent", just "talk"- this includes any OW talk, D talk, "my single life".... The underlying feelings that we have and that they have are much MORE powerful and deep than any surface words. Surface words are the temporary mind content, things they are thinking in a flighty way in the moment or negatives they are getting off their chest... When I think back on how much "garbage talk" I've done over the years myself, it is so clear- this is the same thing. And in the case of negative feelings, oftentimes, when a person is able to air those feelings, the feelings can be released and let go..
Cling to those positive signs in H's actions. .. and know that this is happening... b/c why else would H be calling everyday, IMing you, showing you stuff, inviting you to do things (even if only one or two - this grows in time!) Clearly the feelings are there under the surface already, just a matter of time through more and more interactions that it grows!
Must feel funny in the alien mind to have those warm feelings and then their logical, mental thoughts of their "plan" -- Confusion, guilt, etc is the evidence that this is going on.. I also think the daggers are part of their pride showing through.. Defense (weak- hehe) showing up to guard their "logic" because they are faced with such powerful feelings underneath and they're scared. We know that the deep feelings are stronger than any mental confusion, guilt, etc... For them, it may just come up and wash them over at some point. So no wonder they act so crazy, huh.. My H has even said that verbally lately, "he's not sure".. So, land is in sight- and you're steering the right course! "As if" this is happening - because you are wise, deep and KNOW!!! H never really left to begin with!
Master the self-fulfilling prophecy.. Act 'as if' it's going to happen and make it be!!
