Tonight was the first time that I feel I really gave LRT a good shot. I didn't sit with her, in fact her friends sat by me. Sort of left her on the outside. It felt nice to be able to talk to the parents that I had been isolated from all summer. Felt like unofficially I had some support there.
I was more outgoing, played with the littler kids, brought popcorn and shared it with the little ones. Sang a song with my 6 year old and got razzed by one of the moms. Talked to the moms quite a bit. Ran the scoreboard.
S6 was invited to a buddies house this weekend, which is my weekend. W said "it's your weekend, so it's your call", my response was that the kids shouldn't be punished because we are having troubles. So I feel that he should go.
That was the only R talk. When leaving, they all wanted to come with me, and S4 told W that he wanted to live with me, and not ever go back to her. Guilty to say, but it made me feel good to feel wanted. W just kinda laughed it off. W overheard me talking to other parents about going camping with the boys this weekend. Then walked the boys to the van and W asked if I wanted the leftover soup she made.
She texted me and called me on the way home. Said that she would get all the camping stuff out for me.
I held my ground, was happier, friendlier, more confident, and had a good time with those around me. Didn't let her live in my head for a change. It feels good! Have to keep this up! I hope it helps us reconnect, but either way, I felt more like me again. For 2 hours anyway...
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
