I think I belong in Piecing...

[Painter]

I think sleeping apart has been very detrimental for our M.

Yeah, I'd say so. It is one of those things that starts w/o a full understanding of the complications. I had something similar where I started staying up later than my H b/c he was having to go to bed at 8:30p to be able to wake up early for work... I thought I needed quiet time in the house to unwind after the kids were in bed (as a stay at home mom who was always "on the job" w/ the kids) & couldn't see going to bed so early. H would ask me to but I'd only go when I knew he was wanting to have sex. But after years of this, it left him feeling neglected & he thought I was done w/ the relationship. So it was really detrimental for us. But I never realized it at the time.

At the time, we were bickering a lot (I didn't know, but he had a friendship with OW already), so it actually felt like a relief. I realize now that I opened the door for him to 'develop' that friendship.

One couple I know in the same situation, have solved it by that the W goes to bed at the same time as her H, then gets back up to watch her favorite shows or have her own time once he turns out the light. However, H likes to read and have his own downtime before he goes to sleep, so I'm not sure if he would even want me to go in with him now. He used to ask me to come into bed with him before, but I was reluctant (and wide awake!) most of the time.

H gave me a hug tonight before going to bed. I went in last night and gave him a hug and a kiss and said goodnight, and told him that if he didn't show me that kind of affection during the week, I feel like a booty call come weekend. Seems it seeped in...