Time to let go......how?

[asitis]

Why don't you approach her about sitting down and talking through some of the easy stuff. If custody isn't too sticky a sitch, start with that. My DB coach strongly suggests going out to a coffee shop, and limit each meeting for an hour. If she agrees, you can preface your 1st meeting with how remarkable that you can both sit down together to work through this toughest time in your R.

You may end up having a little social interaction thrown in there.

Keep it to what's best for the kids, rather than a battle of wants. That's when it gets messy. Be willing to set some issues aside if you can't reach a fairly quick agreement. A creative solution may come to one of you, and you will build good will and sense of working well together early on by knocking off the easier stuff. That will likely help when the harder stuff arises.

The public location is less stressful than a home, keeps things reasonable civil, and makes it easy to get up and leave at the end of your agreed upon time limit.

Normally we say don't help the D along, but if you know you are going to get into a battle of wants and wills, heading that off and showing that you can work together may be good. You can DB a lot through those talks. You can't do as much if she creates a list of demands and you are faced with responding.

Just a thought.