Yes, if the problem in the marriage was that you were aloof and not present, it might be a 180 to contact him - but that's not really the story you're telling. And right now he's in the middle of his fantasy. You contacting him will seem like you're clinging. You mysteriously being quiet and getting out and having a fabulous time GALing - will make him curious. You see, they like to think you're home crying waiting to see if he'll pick you as plan B. They never think you might be out having fun on your own - and it usually makes them stop and think if you do.
So get out and have fun. Protect yourself financially (consult a lawyer if you haven't already). And if you HAVE to contact him, do it with something legit (like, say, something business-related that you have to ask him) and end it quickly on YOUR term ("Sorry H, my "friend" just arrived at the door, I have to go".)
I still think there's a lot about your husband that you might decide, after a while, he's not the one for you - the fact that your friends and family were surprised that you didn't leave him should tell you something! But whether you'll want him back when the time comes or not, pursuing him now will just chase him away, while being mysterious and intriguing may draw him in.
