If not attending the game tonight, I would be vague in an explanation. Simply say something to the effect of... W, I won't be able to make S's game tonight. Had something come up that I need to take care of.
That tells her everything she needs to know, but nothing more.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
If not attending the game tonight, I would be vague in an explanation. Simply say something to the effect of... W, I won't be able to make S's game tonight. Had something come up that I need to take care of.
That tells her everything she needs to know, but nothing more.
Dday, why avoid attending the game? You said no friendship was a boundary. Now, you going to run from her b/c you don't know how to act around her?
Do not send that sappy note!! STFU and get on with your life, apart from hers.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Good points all. I am just hurting, I guess. I don't know how to talk to her, and not be like a friend either. I know not to be mean or cold. I have read LRT a dozen times. This IS the hardest thing ever. I am trying to get my mind right, but it's not listening yet
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Yes, let me clarify that a little. I'm not suggesting backing out on your child's game. BUT, if that is what you are going to do, give a vague reason. No details, be mysterious.
Me 34, XF 27 Many years together Son 4 Engaged Not engaged Many false starts by XF 7/16 new girlfriend comes into my life 2/17 girlfriend moves in my home
Ok, I'm going to go to the game. I will be calm, cool, act not reactive, confident and happy to be there. If she talks to me, I will answer her, and be mysterious as possible. I can't make her choose to work on us, that is her issue. Going to take control back.
Last edited by dday; 09/23/1507:27 PM.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Tonight was the first time that I feel I really gave LRT a good shot. I didn't sit with her, in fact her friends sat by me. Sort of left her on the outside. It felt nice to be able to talk to the parents that I had been isolated from all summer. Felt like unofficially I had some support there.
I was more outgoing, played with the littler kids, brought popcorn and shared it with the little ones. Sang a song with my 6 year old and got razzed by one of the moms. Talked to the moms quite a bit. Ran the scoreboard.
S6 was invited to a buddies house this weekend, which is my weekend. W said "it's your weekend, so it's your call", my response was that the kids shouldn't be punished because we are having troubles. So I feel that he should go.
That was the only R talk. When leaving, they all wanted to come with me, and S4 told W that he wanted to live with me, and not ever go back to her. Guilty to say, but it made me feel good to feel wanted. W just kinda laughed it off. W overheard me talking to other parents about going camping with the boys this weekend. Then walked the boys to the van and W asked if I wanted the leftover soup she made.
She texted me and called me on the way home. Said that she would get all the camping stuff out for me.
I held my ground, was happier, friendlier, more confident, and had a good time with those around me. Didn't let her live in my head for a change. It feels good! Have to keep this up! I hope it helps us reconnect, but either way, I felt more like me again. For 2 hours anyway...
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
