Still Struggling with a plan!

[hopeOK]

Posting this here to get it out rather than saying anything to H.

Something I've thought about before but have not put much thought into lately is the fact that H never uses his iPad for his Facebook or email anymore. When we fell off the marriage rebuilding (in June after he read the message on my computer I wrote about him to my sister) he deleted fb from his iPad as well as taking his email off of there. He only used his phone (& changed the password on his phone to one I didn't know).

Well when he decided we were going no where fast & decided to get back to working on the relationship, he put the old password back on his phone, the one that I know. I have been able to look at his phone but mostly do not anymore... I don't feel as compelled to and I also realize that there is little point. If he is doing anything, he is going to be smarter about it now.

But he has not started using his iPad again for Facebook or email. He might occasionally browse the internet on it but that is it. Until last night. He was trying to find an email & his phone wasn't searching for it properly so he got the iPad out & pulled up his email in the browser (not in the email app). He'd forgotten his password & had to reset it. He got in & found what he was looking for. Then he logged out of his email. Not just closed the browser window, but logged out. So now I am left thinking more about this.

It could be a couple things- he doesn't want me to have access to his emails & fb messages all day long like I have in the past just b/c of privacy. He never liked me spying on him & what I would bring up to him that I'd read. BUt he tolerated it b/c of what he'd done.

The other reason that is floating around in my mind is that he is hiding something... he is using these accounts during the day for messaging & clearing the messages before he gets around me (in case I look on his phone). The last time I looked on his fb, I looked at who he has been searching for on fb (if he were to be messaging the OW on fb he would have to search for her first since he isn't friends w/ her any more on fb) & there were no searches. It was like it had been cleared totally... he has had random searches on there previously when I looked (maybe a month or so ago) of friends that he has friended or business pages he has looked for. But this time it was totally cleared w/ no search history. So this is slightly troubling.

I know I am putting a lot of guesswork into all this & it could be nothing. And it could just be that I need to not worry about these things until something more comes to light (something blatantly obvious or him pulling away from me instead of working to meet all my needs). But as I said in the beginning, these are thoughts that go through my head & I wanted to post them here to get them out instead of saying anything to H.

So am I right in thinking that I should just dismiss this all from my mind & let it be?