Think of your life now as a blank canvas. You can paint whatever you want on to it. What do you want it to look like? If you dont know, start trying stuff! Join a book club, join an ultimate frisbee league, join a sit on the porch and drink wine club. Hell, join them all! Start trying stuff and see what you like.
At the same time, start working on you. CaliGuy talks about making three lists: 1) a list of things you dont like about yourself 2) a list of things H doesnt like about you 3) a list of things that you admire in other women Then figure out ways to transfer items from list 1 and 2 onto list 3. This exercise will give you a roadmap towards starting to improve yourself.
You got this, Lost.
Oh boy, Azz. That's a tall order. list 1 could fill a book. list 2? I know some things, but the others I'm just guessing at since he's been pretty tight-lipped list 3 ??? I admire most Everything about women who are not me
My blank canvas would be so colorful if my life were different. So many things I would do or try and places I would travel - 97% of which are compatible with being a single mom working 2 jobs. Just physically impossible. I guess I better start trying to figure out any holes in the schedule for some of the 3%, huh? I will think on this one ....
I did accomplish my meager goals today. Actually, I think it was pretty great that I made it to work and thru the day. Not pretty, not without crying and feeling sick and exhausted, but I did it. It's an improvement over Sat. when I couldn't even make it to the hospital for my shift.
I also got the names of 3 lawyers from people I know.
And I made an appointment to meet the contractor at the house in the morning. (yes, I'm not going to work again! But it's because it's Yom Kippur)
And I reached out to the union rep for the hospital to inquire about a possible LOA. I may lose my job or have to quit, but I'm starting to feel like something has to give and that might be the weekend night shifts. Not so sure that's the best financial move, but I also don't think I can make it thru much more.
love to u all xoxoxo
M 43 H 48 M 19y T 20y D 14 S 12 H returned home from out of country 8/8/15 BD 8/11/15 EA Began end of June/beginning of July 2015; ongoing PA H denies ILYBINILWY
