Hey brother, each day I seem to like the quote better than the previous days!
I guess we just need these quotes to keep us going 1 day at a time.
Emmess, a dream is simply that "a dream" so I would treat it as such, don't get your hopes up just yet, you need ACTIONS from W in order to have some type of expectation.
You are doing good giving her the space she needs to be herself and hopefully soon her desire to do what she is doing will stop and realize what she is doing to her family.
Hey brother, I agree with you. It is a dream, and as such I am not allowing myself to think too much into it. The dream could mean anything and right now my W's actions are of a person who is very much enjoying her new found freedom. I will continue to focus inward and love, honor, respect, and care for myself.
Thank you so much for the hard talk yesterday. I am going to work on being more conscious of my drinking. It [censored] to wake up feeling even more down than you already are.
I appreciate the comment about the quotes, I try to look for those that speak to our situations and will only help us elevate each other.
As I told my W, I will respect your decision, even if it isn't something I agree with. I will not force someone to be with me, at least that much self-worth I have. I am a person who strives for growth and consider myself a good person, and I know that I can always fix my flaws and become an even better person. I love my W and family very much and would love for her to reconsider one day, until then I'll continue to work on setting her free, so she can express herself as she wants to.
I have been reading up on your situation for the past day or so. Our situations are not exactly the same but the actions we need to take are.
Like I have read on your posts, I am also drinking more than usual. This has been my crutch and it needs to stop. My W is an alcoholic and still in the house at the moment. I was able to stop for 3 months after BD but I started again. I am refusing to leave the house and the MB. My W and I had a fight last night that led to me asking her again to move to her mothers. She said that she would think about it. I'm not sure what that means.
Anyway, I don't want to ramble on your thread. I just wanted to pop in and say hello and good luck.
BTW keep up the church. I am also a Christian and the bible has brought me a great deal of strength through this sitch.
Also, I love the quotes. Whether you know it or not you are helping others on this site.
Hang in there.
TKD
M:39 W:40 S:10 S:7 D:12 BD:3/5/15 Separate BR:3/5/15 W moved out with kids 1/3/16
First let me thank all of you for the support and words of encouragement. It moves me to think that we are all trying to elevate one another on here through some of our most difficult times.
TKdmme - Thank you for passing by, and although our situations are not alike, the way we felt devastated and the way we are processing our own sitchs is. I agree, we need to make some changes to our lives; we have given up too much power to our S to drive us to such a point in our self-worth and respect. I will begin reading your thread, I want to support you on your journey.
Mutatio - Your words are always encouraging. I have been keeping up with your sitch and I am happy with the progress you have made. I am here for you as well, and your support is always appreciated.
Woke up this morning in the house with my W, it is nice to be around her although I do worry about whether I can keep my cool and happiness demeanor around her. Spoke to her mostly about work stuff, her accomplishments, her trip, encouraged her to continue to pursuit her dream and that she is someone who is bringing a lot of value to our Organization (We both work for the same company)
Worked out this morning, when I stay with the kids, I can only do Calisthenics; have to start looking into a new routine to begin my workout regimen again (I prefer the gym or combination of both Calisthenics and Weight Training/cardio). Began reading "The Obstacle is the Way" great read, will recommended to anyone.
Today's PMA:
Quote of the Day:
Pay attention to what you pray for. Your prayers are not just a reflection of your desires and hopes; they are a guide for personal behavior. Pray it, BE it, and you will SEE it. - Steve Maraboli
I am glad you like the quote. I though you might. It speaks volumes. Keep up the good spirit, and believing in our Lord. We will come out of this being much much better than when we went in.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
This morning is a bit different. I need some advice and would love your thoughts as to my current development:
My wife calls me last night while I was out doing my GAL, asks if I had a few moments, I said sure. She begins to tell me that she wants to begin to file for D, and how we need to finalize how we are going to divide assets, child custody, child support, etc. We both would like to do this outside of the court. I am also aware that she wants to be fair, but that translates to what's fair to her.
Our point of contention happens to be deciding on what to do with the Condo we both own. She wants to keep the condo for the sake of not uprooting the children, she is ok with selling in 4 years when our child is heading to JHS. I personally think it is best to sell the apartment, as this will allow us to split the equity 50/50, pay off our marital debt, and have money for us to purchase our own apartments. When I mention this she tries to guilt me by saying that I am only thinking of myself and not our children, what this is going to further do to them. I find this a little funny, as she is the one wanting to D and breakup our family..
My question is, am I being driven by my own needs without thinking of my children? Am I wrong for doing what I think is the logical, rational thing to do for all of us?
I would really appreciate your thoughts on this.
God Bless
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
“to love life, to love it even when you have no stomach for it and everything you've held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands, your throat filled with the silt of it. When grief sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs; when grief weights you like your own flesh only more of it, an obesity of grief, you think, How can a body withstand this? Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face, no charming smile, no violet eyes, and you say, yes, I will take you I will love you, again.”
