Thank you both.. it is amazing how often I think about the "family" here. So many of us are experiencing the worst pain in our lives but we all come here to share and learn from one another. I think about you all on a daily basis as well as i go about my day. l often wish I could check in during the work day because I dont want to miss anything. I find it hard to keep up with everyones sit.
Keep doing the DB , try different approaches because we are all individuals with different partners and history. No two relationships are the same so dont be afraid to be a a little flexible with the advice given here. Im the first to admit I havent been a complete follower to the T. I had to add a little of my own intuition to some of the guidelines. I broke some rules as I went but thats my style... H actually called me a rule breaker just last night... NOT in relation to this haha.
Things that are working for me Going dusk... my version of going dark.. I never made it a week without some contact with H GAL so important for yourself self esteem Practicing 180.. I changed they way I intereacted with H. I have tried to forgive and foget and start a new relationship with him. We rarely talk about the past or the staus of our current relationship. I think this is huge. He actually said the other nite that " its like were dating but as a couple". We have been "dating" we have been going to dinner, fairs, movies fun things we had stopped doing in our marriage. We became cought up in the day today and became boring. My other 180 making coffee fun again. Dressing nice smelling nice and flirting is my mantra now. Haha Stopped pursuing... I became elusive unavailable and mysterious
Things that didnt work Pursuing Crying Being vulnerable and weak Snooping Asking probing questions Being bitter, resentful, or angry
Again this is my journey and im the one who has to live and learn by it. I share because it shows that everyones going to have to make choices in their own journey. By sharing we can look at others choices and maybe look for something to try on our own path.
Keep doing DB and trying different tactics. If something works keep doing it if its not working stop doing it and try something new. Be patient too.
Married 1991 D 32 GD 12 D 30 GD 3 S 29 M 58 S 57 1st bomb 2008 2nd bomb 4/2015 same person New bomb 09/24 I fear those big words which make us so unhappy.
