Ok so I want to be positive towards myself here for a moment. I can honestly say I am in a much better place right now. I can say I am relieved. I am in a better place to PMA, limit contact, limit seeing eachother, and detatch! Learn to live for me! Today for the first time in several years I am going to buy some new work clothes (scrubs) and do a few things for myself. WE all know I neglect myself for everyone else so It is now about me!
One of my 180's I will work on putting into a goal is being more positive toward myself and daughter.
Another 180 will be less contact with Ex and waiting before replying to his texts unless it is about the kids. Its weird I feel like we are still co-parenting and we dont even have kids together but I am glad it can be this way.
I will also not be helping ex anymore with bills, racing, buying kids stuff ect. That should be the responsibility of their parents. It is not like he is helping my buy anything.
Goals will be to attend Al-anon meeting. therapy next week, and make an extra payment this week on one of my debts. I will also work towards organization and getting back on a routine. I will get them more specific when I am home. Right now I am at Ex's house doing laundry while he is at work and going to spend some time with the kids until he gets home then as soon as he gets here I am leaving. NO need to spend time with him quite yet.
V---I would say awkward and unfamiliar. My dad never hugged us, kissed us, or said ILY when we were kids so having all of this support from him is unfamiliar. I do not even know what to think of it all. I was visiting with him last night about how my mom brother and sister are all toxic people and he admitted he was too. I also let him know I have seen a lot of changes in him from when I was a kid. He is no longer abusive, scary, or not available. I mean he let me move in on a two hour notice says he will do things with D8 said the other two can come stay anytime gave me gas money and is not making me pay anything. It is very unfamiliar and awkward.
