I also have no idea how to become the best me. I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't know who I used to be. I was so young & naive when I met H, newly graduated from college, no idea about the world. He was older, experienced, had traveled the globe while in the Marines. So much of who I am came from being part of "us."
I missed out on so many things.
As I became older, it seems the few things I liked the people in my life, including H, did not like.
Perhaps H and I are not really compatible. Perhaps I was never the person who would make H happy.
Think of your life now as a blank canvas. You can paint whatever you want on to it. What do you want it to look like? If you dont know, start trying stuff! Join a book club, join an ultimate frisbee league, join a sit on the porch and drink wine club. Hell, join them all! Start trying stuff and see what you like.
At the same time, start working on you. CaliGuy talks about making three lists: 1) a list of things you dont like about yourself 2) a list of things H doesnt like about you 3) a list of things that you admire in other women Then figure out ways to transfer items from list 1 and 2 onto list 3. This exercise will give you a roadmap towards starting to improve yourself.
