For man who really wants a divorce, the lack of forward momentum is telling. I wish we could both sit down and rationally talk about our future whether married or divorced. Then put together the plans for achieving said goal. Whenever I try to put plans together he either stonewalls or delays.
Time and distance is showing me the flaws and shortcomings in our relationship. However, if I knew he was willing to commit and work on owning his part of this - I would want him to continue as my husband. I guess part of me is standing.
Yesterday, S11 asked what we were going to do for Christmas. I said we would have it under a tree (as not even sure where we will be living then). He asked if dad was coming home for Christmas. I said "I don't know". I guess I am not ready to face it and tell the kids that we are definitely getting a divorce and there will be no more "family" Christmas'.
H: 48 Me: 47 Married: 19 yrs T: 20 yrs 2 teen-Ds and S H-MLC (started 2012) and H-Unemployed (11/2014) D-Bomb: 2/2015 H left country but hasn't moved out: 7/2015 I filed: 7/2015
