Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 3 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 10 11
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 29
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 29
Oh Diana it's so painful. I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm pretty new to the situation myself, so I don't have any great words of wisdom. I guess just go back to the 37 newcomer rules, you know the GAL, 180, the detatch stuff.

But it hurts and it's hard. I really empathize with you on his not being with you when you needed a husband by your side. This June my 18-year-old graduated high school. This son has been a victim of parental alienation, completely brainwashed against me by his birth father. ( he is the only one of my four children who does not live with me. He has been under his father's care since he was 12, because he believed every word his father told him about me. Anyway, a super painful situation for me to have essentially lost contact with one of my children). So my son told me he did not want me to show up at his graduation ceremony, and if he caught site of me there he would not walk at all. The day of graduation, I was an emotional wreck. My husband was unaware that it was even happening. My dad, bless his heart, sat with me through the day and was my shoulder to cry on. That's the day I really needed my husband and he totally failed me. So I get how much of a blow it is when you are weak and worried about medical issues and he's not by your side where he should be. (((Hugs))


M: 48
H: 44
M: 2 / T: 7
My kids: S22, S18, S17, D12
H no kids of his own
BD: 7/12/2015 / moved out same day
Piecing 9/6/2015
Moved back in 10/2015
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 374
D
Di-mond Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 374
I feel so stuck. My stress level is going up again because of finances and trying to slowly (by myself) get this house ready to sell. I can literally feel myself getting sick again. My GAL has come to a screeching halt. I really don't feel like doing much of anything as of late. My H is pulling further and further away. He barely even texts anymore. I fluctuate between feeling sorry for myself and being pissed at him for being such a douche bag and leaving me alone to deal with all this crap. Yesterday I spent an hour pulling nails out of the walls and patching the holes in his old office. He put up all his superhero and Star Wars collectibles with nails and who gets to clean up the mess? I do! Grumble! Some days I just want to run away and start a new life somewhere.


Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

One day at a time!
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
Diana,

I understand, please take your time, be healthy, rest, eat well.

Breathe deep. It will unfold in time.

Gently, gently, slowly.

You are doing well, you may not see it yet but you are.

I read your frustration and this is the start of your freedom, the start of being able to run toward your future.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 34
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 34
Diana- I have no good advice for you or secrets to divulge to make things easier. Please know that you're not alone! This is a painful struggle; it's ugly, hurtful, messy, and unnecessarily inconvenient! You WILL get through this! You WILL be better when you come out of this!

Hang in there! smile


Me:46 H:42
T:7 M:5
MD(H SD):24
MS(H SS):19
MS(H SS):13
Separated on & off most of '15
WAH last left 8/15
WAH changed locks & Bank account of joint business 8/15
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 374
D
Di-mond Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 374
Thanks V and SParker,

Just having a couple of tough weeks. I feel overwhelmed trying to get all this stuff done, but I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I am getting excited about hopefully going to college next year. Still lots of uncertainty, but most of it is out of my control. My BFF helped me put together a master list of things that I need to get done and I'm ticking a couple of things off every day. That helps. My H stopped by yesterday and we spent a few hours together. He seemed uncomfortable being in my house, seeing all the things I have accomplished, without him. I did mention all the nail holes, lol!!! I don't think he has ever patched holes in drywall or used a sander in his life. He is so NOT a handyman, but I loved him anyways.

This week is our anniversary. I will see him on that day. I am heading to the town he works in to attend the National Scleroderma Conference and will be staying at his moms house for a couple of days. He works nights and I will be out all day attending seminars, so not really spending very much time together. No expectations, but still hopeful that he will remember our anniversary.
He did tell me that he wanted to cancel all his lessons yesterday, but didn't because he wanted to see me. (He lives over 2 hour drive away now). I guess that is still a positive sign.

I'm hanging in there, just wish this chapter of my life would come to an end already. I can't ever seem to find the easy path. Changing jobs after 17 years, moving and selling my house after 13 years, "loosing" my H after 5 years, finally cutting the apron strings to my kids after 23 and 24 years and putting myself and my health first, for the first time in my life. In a matter of less than a year, everything I have known all my adult life will be different. I will be different! I'm anxious and curious to discover the new me.


Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

One day at a time!
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 374
D
Di-mond Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 374
I accomplished quite a few things today. Three loads to the dump. One was mine and two for my BFF. Painted he ceiling in the dining room and the smallest bedroom. Sanded and repatched nail holes in the small bedroom as well. Tomorrow will be sanding and first coat of paint in the small bedroom and painting the ceiling in the living room. On the weekend I will stage the small bedroom. Getting things done, bit by bit. Tonight I'm tired. I hope I'm not too sore tomorrow.
Still get the occasional feeling of resentment that my H didn't help me with any of this. How in the world can I ever look at him as an equal partner if he left me alone at a time when I needed him most. I guess only time will tell. I know I can do all of this and all the other steps I'm taking towards my future without him, but I shouldn't have to.


Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

One day at a time!
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 6
G
New Member
Offline
New Member
G
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 6
"If God brings you to it
He will bring you through it."

Amazing smile Thank you for that quote. If anything, know that has helped someone (me) see things a little different and a little brighter.

Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 374
D
Di-mond Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 374
LNLYGY,

I'm glad that you found comfort in that quote. I went to the dollar store the week my H left and found a plaque with that saying and I just had the urge to buy it. I hung it in my front hallway so I would see it every time I walked into the house. If it weren't for God I'm not sure how I would have made it through some of those dark times. I know I'm not walking his path alone. God is always there with me.


Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

One day at a time!
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 374
D
Di-mond Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
D
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 374
I'm still here. Just too tired to post much. Painting, painting, painting. Did I mention that I hate painting? Flooring next week, then tackling the bathroom. Ugh!!!


Di-mond in the rough
M-45 H-38
My children S-25 D-23
T 5 M 4
H left April Fools Day 2015

One day at a time!
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Oct 2014
Posts: 8,855
Everything ok Diana?

Rest dear one

Tell me about college, sounds interesting

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 09/25/15 05:55 PM.

Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Page 3 of 11 1 2 3 4 5 10 11

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5