Losers: Wayward Wife & LRT (9)

[Defacto]

Hello guys and gals,

Just wanted to check in to offer an update and ask for some advice.

Quick recap...D mediation finalized last Wednesday. However, immediately following, STBX expressed a lot of uncertainty and doubt about the sitch. Last Thursday night, she called and we talked, more like I listened, for about an hour or so. STBX still wants to play the blame game but shows a real lack of direction.

I started thinking about the DB journey and all the strategies therein. Then I asked myself if I would have any regrets when the D became final. You know, the mirror test. I figured I would always regret not providing the vision of a different future for my children and my STBX. It would be one thing if STBX was obstinate and resolute but she was not. Maybe STBX is conflicted because she doesn't have a vision for any future other than D right now. I also knew that time was of the essence for me emotionally because once D is final, I will not have any interest in hanging around.

So, I decided to call STBX Friday morning and provide an alternate ending for this sitch. I didn't beg. I didn't plead her to reconsider. I just told her that I would always regret us not trying harder for the kids. I reminded her that we had nothing left to lose at this point. She said that she had her reservations and I told her that I had mine to. STBX asked questions about what the future might hold. I answered them with conviction but healthy uncertainty. I didn't demand an answer but I felt successful in at least getting her to imagine a different future for herself.

Since then, our interactions seem more frequent and more friendly. However, I'm sure this is more me making myself available to STBX. Yesterday when I picked up the kids, STBX gave me one of the tightest hugs in quite a while. Additionally, she told me that I looked really good. She repeated it later that night. However, she has not really responded or reacted to our Friday conversation. And of course, the worst thing to do would be to pressure her right now.

I know what I did might seem in opposition to some DB principles. However, I just felt like I needed to respond to STBX's uncertainty with leadership and vision. I have nothing to lose at this point and know I can truly say I have no regrets.

Any advice on what I should do next?