Aww Gwen, its a horrible process grieving, I have to say that I did not grieve like this when my mum died, this has been a profoundly painful experience, one that has affected me on so many levels.
I am sad to learn that h does not contact your d more regularly, its seems to be a part of this MLC, they remove everyone from their old life and anyone who questions what they are doing. My h is now feeling the fallout from putting ow before his sons and they now have little respect for him. It will take a lot to mend the bridges he has destroyed.
As for no reason to believe he is not happy - I thought that too but seems my h wasn't at all, just as everyone here predicted. We don't know what is going through their heads and until they are honest with themselves they don't either. My h said it felt like conflicting confusion going around his head all the time, it never stopped and he just wanted it to stop. He ended up hating his life and himself.
I do hope that you are moving onwards, that you are finding happiness in your life, seeing that it is possible to laugh and smile again as you Gwen deserve that so much, you are truly an amazing women, strong, kind and caring. I wish you nothing but the best in life my friend. Whatever happens (and seriously you really have no idea what is around the corner) you look after you, do what feels right and enjoy your life as much as you can.
Stay in touch and keep me updated on how you are and what you are doing. ((hugs))
