So H came home Saturday night. I asked if he had been working all day and how work was, he said yes, fine. So I didn't ask further.I was still not sure how,and I wanted to think a little more how to talk about this.

However this morning, H told me he is sorry I couldn't go out Saturday night. So I said, " You didn't work on Saturday, did you?" He said he really did work the night but not during the day and he was sorry he didn't tell me. I asked him I'd rather him to tell me if he didn't want to watch the kids, and he said that's not why.
So H does certain things, and he feels too guilty and fesses up on his own (to some extent).

We chatted about his work a little, and I told him I'll be a little late tonight (for a Spanish class, but he doesn't have to know that!) and kids' dinner is in the fridge. He asked me yet again if it's a guy and if he is handsome. OK I really had to laugh. What??? H kept saying that he just wanted to know how the guy looks and if he is handsome. WTH???

From there, a repeat from the other morning. H just wanted to hug me and tried to kiss me. I couldn't help but say, "One day you want to have nothing to do with me and then..." H kept saying, " I really don't know why, I really don't know why"
I told him I had to go, and H was just standing there watching me putting on shoes etc... so I smiled and said "bye, see you later"


Painter,

Thans for the input! Unfortunately we are not really on "having lunch together randomely" terms, so I couldn't have said that, but I told him I just figured (that he is not working) because he only had one pair of work clothes etc.


LMS,

Wow, 14K run is great! I really admire you!
But I know sooooo much about GALing and still feel empty. I force myself to do stuff, which could be fun and distracting to some extent, but I get very sad and depressed all of a sudden too. My IC told me to fake it until make it.
Even yesterday, in the middle of the rough weekend, I didn't feel like it, but still took the kids out to do some fun stuff. On the drive home, I cried ( for me, I get hit by sadness during driving a lot) but I still think it was better than sitting at home. I also think H will notice your change, maybe slower than you would like, but he still will.
I think nothing wil take away the pain. Though all the vets here say it will get better with time. It might be true. I don't know yet. TBH, I don't even know if I want to be ok without my H. I'm not there yet.
I wish we could have a glass of wine together!!

twinmom,

Thank you! I have free consultation scheduled with L this week, so I will make sure to ask about these arrangements too. I did ask SIL but she was busy this weekend.