so last night i was feeling so hurt. i felt like a failure at the one job i had of being a wife. these feeling came because of our "heart to heart" talk. your job is not to make him happy. He is equally to blame for the failure of your marriage. Dont fall on your emotional sword to protect him. there are so many signs there that he knows to come back home but he truly feels that hes just miserable overall. not only in the marriage but as a person. But you didnt BREAK him. This is something HE needs to figure out how to handle. we agreed that he should probably move out so that way i wont get any hopes. what? why would you tell him that? Dont let him be the center of your world. YOU and YOUR KIDS are the center of your world. He doesnt have the power over you to make you happy. he thinks that god sent him the dopie (the other woman, shes a heroin addict) for a reason. i told him that he was way smarter then that and he needs to find someone without that baggage, because at the end of the day if hes going to introduce the kids to the ow she should have positive aspects who can educate my kids or be someone influential not a druggie who cant even watch her own damn kid. i told him that if he wants to be with her then it will take time away from your kids cause if your trying to make sure shes not using drugs then that means you need to baby sit her (shes 10 yrs younger then him). so i told him, please find a girl who is like me hahahah, smart, godly, a family oriented person who wants the best for her loved ones. without any baggage. he was just listening and agreed. Sadly, we dont get to choose the AP. She is who she is. Part of the allure is probably getting to feel like a hero. Probably the feeling worship and of need that she has for him. I believe he may have been listening and hell, maybe even understood it. But it isnt going to change anything. What if you told her "heroin is bad for you"...do you think that will get her to change her habits? Its the same for him right now. i told him i want him to be happy and that he deserves happiness and that i hope and pray that god can give him happiness, true happiness and some peace, hes been through so much in the last 1.5 yrs. This is...ok...but I wouldnt try to encourage him to "find" happiness or have happiness "granted" on him. I believe that you are the source of your own happiness. That you can make your situation a happy one regardless of the circumstance. So, this sounds like since he think you dont make him happy, he should go. so now i need to really stop trying with him and start trying to fix me. God is giving me this me time and i truely want to use it because I too deserve happiness whether its with him or not. YEEEESSSSS. Now go out there and make yourself happy!
