I know how hard this is. Everyday will feel different and it is impossible to trust your feelings as they are all over the place. Try posting everyday. Even if no one responses, it is great to look back on as a journal.
It is great that you can look at your wife's positive qualities but please do not compare yourself to how she is handling this. Remember, she has had more time to come to this decision and to justify his decision. This is new to you. You guys are different people, sure she is outgoing and warm to others but you seem very introspective and capable of deep reflection. Something that will be so advantageous to your future. You will be able to look back and know you did everything in your power to provide your daughter with a stable family.
All you can do at this point is give your wife space, treat her with respect, and not react wheN she inevitably pushes your buttons. (Great way to practice validating is on 5 year olds during their melt downs ).
I see you recognize a lot of characteristics that you are unhappy with but how are you going to make your 180s? What specific plans of action do you have to be a positive force and build a life of meaning for you and your daughter? Are there projects that need finishing? Perhaps a college fund for your daughter you can start? (I only suggest this because my husband has a difficult time saving and if he did this is would truly demonstrate selflessness and responsibility). What could you do that would make you feel good about your role in life and who you are? There is more to life then being invited to parties. Throw your own party! Any charities or volunteer opportunities? Meetup groups? I know this is easy to say, especially when depression takes over early on. But I know you will get through this resiliently. Have patience, cause time is on your side and the only way to get come out on top is by doing the right thing.
Last edited by JulieH; 09/21/1502:48 PM.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
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