Feeling very alone today. Lonely for companionship, conversation, affection. Trying so hard to be patient. Friends are trying to set me up with ladies but I know that I am not ready.
Called a friend who has the same cancer as I. She is facing the same effects of the treatment that I did. She was very grateful for my having called. Was able to talk to her about the emotional aspect of treatment. Hopefully was of some help to her as she felt that no one understood what she was going through. I assured her that I did and she thanked me profusely. Maybe God brought me to this point to help her and her family.
Pray for me!
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
You've been someone's angel today, that's an awesome thing shotgun.
You are right to duck any match making attempts by your friends, it might be time to to say to them that you insist they stop and that by doing so they will help you more.
It is probably a good idea to post a link as soon as you can on this thread to your first thread, as it allows others to understand your sitch and follow your progress.
- Nobody has ever learnt anything important from happiness and success; problems make us grow - Consult your plan, not your feelings - If you haven't set goals, how can you expect to achieve anything?
You are a very generous and caring man, despite your situation you still think about others. You are a man only a fool would leave :-).
At the moment your W, can't see it but carry on with your journey. If you are meant to be together with her, God will see that both of you get there but probably the time your journey will take, will be different for each of you. As Sotto said never give up, no matter how bleak things seem.
Thank you Rouky. I really needed to hear that today. With everything being so crazy and her being so hateful it just feels like I will never have peace.
Got started on my Prozac. It hasn't helped but it has only been a few days. Strange but I have been the most patient person my whole life but now I am not. Any ideas?
Got to get back to GAL activities. I have got to do more to occupy myself as the days without S13 here I am so lonely. I have to be strong for him though and pull myself together.
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
You need to wait at least two weeks to see any changes with Prozac. Once you start to feel there effect, you'll see life in a different way. I'm so sorry you have to use them, but sometimes you need a bit of "magical" help, and there is nothing wrong with that as we are only human.
I'm not sure if it's going to be of any comfort but when I get angry it's because I'm scared and don't know how to react, so anger seems the only option to protect me.
I hope I'm not going to offend you by what I'm going to say, but I think that becoming less patient is due to not having any control what so ever to what is unfolding in front of our eyes. I think we all want to control our S to some extend, and make them see what they are throwing away, but from what I have understood in the DB process is that we can't control others only us .
Keep strong Shotgun, and to occupy yourself why not looking into taking your son on holidays?
Sending you strength Shotgun. You're a warrior and a half for enduring all that you have and coming out of it without being bitter at the world. If I could, I'd shake your hand and introduce you to my sister (in due time!)
Keep taking it one day at a time. It's ok to be lonely. It's ok to feel loss. As Pema says, lean into them. See what's in the loneliness for you. See how you can fill that yourself with interests, hobbies and curiosities. It's a big beautiful world out there.
Strength, and a big man hug to you shotgun.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
Rouky I do feel a total loss of control. It feels like everything is spinning out of control. Saw my therapist tonight and that helped. Hoping the Prozac helps soon. Thank you for nudging me back to reality. I haven't been spending as much time with family and friends as I had been and I need a little outside perspective. Very true that I can only control myself. Got to stay focused on that. Good idea to take S13 out for a couple of days. We are going to a music festival next month. Thanks for checking on me and being my friend. Wish I was as strong as you.
M:53 W:47 M:15 years. S:18 S's: 30 & 28 from previous marriage. BD: 3/14 Divorced January 17.
I fully understand where you are coming from Shotgun when you say it feels like everything is out of control. There is so much pain that we can deal with at a time.
Do you sleep well? How do you busy yourself in the evening? How is it going in your job?
Despite all the you are going trough you are able to get up every morning, maybe not with a smile but you are doing it, and that's a HUGE step. I know someone people who couldn't even do that. You have strength in you, it's just unfortunately that at the moment it is being tested.
Be strong, keep posted and I'll do my best to walk along side you for this journey.
On a happy note: Miss Canada is part of the USA isn't it? . The joy of working with kids :-)
I really miss just having someone to TALK to. I'm getting healthier, but still have to rest a lot, which keeps me close to home. H used to have conversations with me...I need to start calling old friends, I guess...but darn it! Don't want to have to explain H' s insanity while we catch up. It's still pretty painful and raw. Maybe I should record myself, and play it back?
