Flailing

[Lost08]

Lost do you have a safety net, family members- parents, brothers and sisters? If so could they help?

With a lawyer you might be able to garnish his wages. I am not sure where you are in your relationship, are you done?

Unfortunately no safety net. I do have parents and 2 sisters. I haven't told them yet. Didn't want to tell friends and family.
I was holding out hope that somehow my M would eventually reach the piecing stage and we would R, so I guess I was trying to protect him (and myself) from any judgment from my family.

My sisters, well, I know they would be supportive, but it's so much more complicated. My one sister, in particular, had an affair and her M was destroyed. She's since been divorced and it's been very ugly. This was something I witnessed too closely as I was with her when she met her OM and when she started her A. I became her confidant and she spent years leaning on me for support when her M fell apart. H resented the time I took to support her and has been VERY critical and judgmental of her actions. Saying on more than one occasion how horrible it was for her to have an A despite how emotionally abusive her H was.

My H expressed VERY VERY strong opinions about this and her decisions. Telling me if I ever even kissed another man our M would be over in a heartbeat. My H said I would be dead to him. He wouldn't fight me for anything. The D would be fast and he would never talk to me or interact with me again in my life, unless he was forced to speak to me b/c of the kids.

She has struggled since with almost everything in her life since. She struggles to support herself and her 2 little girls, she's lonely and I believe she still berates herself for having an A. I don't think she's forgiven herself.

This same sister and I had a major falling out last year. She was very drunk and unhappy and lashed out, both verbally and physically. I can't go into all the details right now, but I am very gun shy about opening up to her anymore with any of my personal life.