hold on!! - 12

[u-turn]

I really agree with Sunny. Plus no joint accounts, really Difficult if you link your credit rating to W!

How is your D? I think the two of you have similar temperaments is that so?

V

I do worry about the joint account "for the kids" because she has not been reliable in any way with money lately. I see me covering the bills that are linked to this account anyway.

She doesn't want a normal D financial arrangement it seems. This does scare me a little.

Here's something about me that I can't figure out - I feel like I have to choose some things that I will allow to go W's way. She has accused me of being - my way or the highway - when it comes to deciding how to handle the kids through and after the D, including what the living arrangements should be. I have not been shy about disagreeing when I disagree about these things.

So I am kind of keeping a score card (and I see me winning as far as after the D goes). (I am still resentful about losing my/our dreams though - so add that to the scorecard and we all lose).

D15 is doing alright. She is definitely moody, often crabby, and demanding, and not understanding why the answer no is just the answer sometimes. This could all be just normal teen girl things. I am trying to handle her gently, but not let her call all the shots. I pick and choose my battles with her. She's a little boy crazy - and I am trying to balance normal 15 year old freedom and my protective instincts (and teaching her self respect) (sad to say W dropped the ball with this one - though I guess it could be another do as I say not as I do).

I am trying to figure out how to teach them what I really feel about marriage and relationships without sounding hypocritical.

I really think we do have similar temperaments (though she is much more social than I have ever been). We mostly get on great when it's just the two of us (and when it's the three of us with s18, it's always good.) I think D15 and S18 have turned to each other a little, which I think is so cool - I never had that kind of R with my family.

Thanks V - I hope you are doing better - I have started to read back on your thread.

Peace