Here is the email I sent. It's the last one I'll do. Excuse the language.
I have been a brutal mean f-----g [censored] since the day you left. Why? That's a good question. I don't really know the answer. I can't tell you how I feel though. I was pissed. I was mad that you left. I was mad that I caused you to leave. I was mad that I failed as a husband and made you look at another man. I was supposed to be the protector of the family and instead I hurt you. Yes, I was hurt also, but not physically. I did get lazy in our marriage taking you for granted. Marriage is work everyday and I layed back and did nothing. Fought with you over the dumbest [censored] possible. I know one minute I'm saying this then it's [censored] off or something. Hell, I'd say I was bipolar if I was watching me. I'm not. I do love you and would love to have you by my side as an equal. I wouldn't treat you inferior. Of course you won't believe a single thing I'm saying, cause I've done nothing but prove I won't change. It's hard when you're not here. It's hard on me. I love you more than anything and you're gone. I'm pretty sure that you'll never come back after all I've done. That ship sailed about the end of the first month you were gone or maybe sooner. I promise this, I will never give up trying to be better. Hopefully we can be friends at least and then you never know. I'm sure you're thinking, [censored] that I'll never go back to him. Don't blame you at all. I'm not negotiating or controlling you or anything with this. Please, let's go 2 full weeks without saying anything, other than girls. 2 weeks or longer. That's up to you. Go whatever time you'd like with no contact and see how we feel after that time. That's all I ask. Please text me and let me know if you will. I won't respond. If you say yes, then just out how long you want and I'll do it. If not, I understand why. I love you and I think under all the hatred you have for me that I've caused you still love me also. Look deep down and please let's try. I swear on the girls I will not contact for whatever length of time you say. Other than about the girls. I love you and I hope you're doing well. You still are beautiful to me.
