I saw her again this afternoon while I was moving more of my stuff. She told me that the reason she wants out of the M is that I have hurt her too many times, and she won't allow herself to be hurt again. (Years ago, I drank while depressed, and we would get into 2 arguments a year. Her estimate, not mine.) She said that I waited until she checked out, before I got better.
That's just her way of trying to justify her wanting out.
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I told her that when she found the girl I married, I want to see her. Until then, I don't want to be just friends
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Perfect response!
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I think that my trying to be super H has made this so much harder on me.
If only we could convince men when they first come here, but they won't believe it until they see they see for themselves. At least you see now, and are thinking straight.
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She always seems happy in public, and according to her, she has been living a lie for years. Then yesterday, she told me how much it sucked that her D filing was in the newspaper.
What you saw when she was in public, was an act. She was showing the public the image she wanted them to see. Even with those who know her, she wants to maintain a certain "image". That's why she is still trying to conceal the truth about her filing for D, and wanting you to continue the phoniness in Church by sitting with her.
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And, if she is "tired of living a lie", why did she want us to appear as a happy normal family when we were in public, around people she knows? I need to realize that I am never going to understand what is going on with her, and just work on me. I am having a hard time convincing myself...
"Tired of living a lie" is what we call script. B/c that same line is said by the majority of WW's. Just like they rewrite history and say they never really was in love or hadn't love their H for years. You can't believe this stuff she says. It is all garbage she's saying, trying to make you see she's through with the M, and convince you to stop trying to save it.
In time, she could change her tune, but for now........
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
