Need advice for a WW who left Part 4

[dwh15]

I guess by fully detached, I meant that I'm done with hoping for a R in the marriage. I don't want to be with her now or ever. I hope we can be good co-parents at some point, but I don't even believe that is possible at this stage. WW is totally self-centered, and only puts her kids at #2 priority, always behind OM. My S18 said tonight he did not want to be around her. This had nothing to do with me, but was his reaction after I told him mom had filed for D. He knows that I have been doing everything possible to try and save the M. I don't bad-mouth mom in front of the kids and always reinforce that she is still their mother and loves them no matter what, but I really do fear that the kids are not in the best environment with mom at the moment, especially when OM is around.

Right now, I'm very angry. I know it's not healthy and I will attempt to move past it and into acceptance and total detachment, but I am done holding out hope. After this, I cannot and will not be married to WW. There is simply too much damage, too much disrespect, for far too long. Even if she were to totally snap out of her fog tomorrow, I don't think I could get past all that has happened. Maybe it was never possible, but I was still holding onto that sliver of hope. Her total disregard for my feelings has killed that hope. She is a selfish, mean person and not someone that I even want to know, let alone have to work with on custody.

The good thing is I am more focused and goal-driven than I have been since this all started. I know what needs to be done to protect myself and my children and will make those my priorities at all costs. WW has declared war and I will not take this sitting down. I will keep DBing to the extent I can, in an effort to improve myself, and be a better person. I do feel I have grown in enormous ways since this all started and am happier in many aspects of my life than a few months ago. But my goals have changed and are no longer centered in trying to save my M, but instead to protect my children and be the best father possible. I hope that my poor, fog-induced WW starts to come around at some point in the next few years and can be a responsible mother, but until then I will be fighting tooth and nail to protect myself and my boys.

I cannot express the amount of gratitude I have to this board and the many posters who have contributed, and given me hope in a hopeless situation. I will continue to provide updates and do my best in whatever limited fashion to provide input for others at the beginning of their own journeys. But my path has changed in a way that is not reversible and an inner fire has been lit. I know that I WILL be fine at the end of this, as will my boys. WW is going to suffer the consequences of her poor choices, and may God have mercy on her soul, as I will not be taking mercy in the coming court proceedings.