Funny, your issues are so familiar to me, even the dream questions (I would ask my husband what trip he would take if we won the lottery or what would be his dream restaurant to open if could and he had similar answers that you did )
I too have similar questions regarding the friend issue, and like you there is no proof of OP. I don't want to be just a friend. I want him to experience what divorce would truly be like. No cake eating. It's not fair! Plus I'm angry that he left and that he too played a role. Hard to have a friendship under these circumstances. Do we go dim? I don't feel comfortable being friendly. Polite yes, but friendly is challenging.
I had my 3rd session with a DB coach and guess what she told me? Be a friend. Talk and act torward him as I would a friend. She told me to be more friendly and "act as if". She said good feelings are contagious. Positive energy is very powerful and that at the very least it's good for the kids to see us like this. She even said that I could give him an authentic compliment once in a while and that it would be ok to initiate a friendly call (different from pursuing or discussing relationship).
Now, as everyone knows, all of our situations are different and I am in no way advising you. I just wanted to let you know that this was what I was advised and yes to me this is counter intuitive.
Me: 42 H: 43 Twins age 5 Physically Separated 7/2015
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