Continuing Limbo

[PeterV2]

It's been another month of limbo. I went away from Sept 9 to Phoenix AZ for a sales convention and then to San Francisco to do some work. W called me almost every day to talk. Also sent plenty of texts. She left for a short vacation with her girlfriend on Sept 15 and I got home later that night, so we haven't seen each other for over a week. I did call her last night after she sent me a text to save having to text a dozen times. She's relaxing and working on how to deal with her panic attacks. Her girlfriend has training in this area and is helping her with that.

I kind of like the break. I'm feeling pretty relaxed. Things have been pretty smooth between us over the past month. But that could be because I'm not bringing up any R issues. Just living day by day.

I still get freaked out when she's away and I don't hear from her. My mind goes straight to the suspicion that she's with OM, but I really thing that's just my paranoia. She's not that good an actor. A year and a half ago I could tell when she was with him by the way she acted before and after - none of that now. All pretty natural, so I think she is telling the truth. Unless she has become even better at lying. See, my mind plays games with me.

Not that I can do anything about it if she is still in contact with him. All I can do is steer my own ship. But it would be nice to know the truth - so I can plot my course accordingly. Is she really just trying to find herself again before recommitting to the M or is she just biding her time? I just wish I had some way of knowing. I guess I could put a tracking device in her car. The car is an asset of my business so I have the right to know where it is.

Anyway, I'm just trying to have some fun and not fret over things. Let life take it's course. But it certainly would be nice to share some closeness and affection with my W. When she's ready.

Continuing on the Newtonian trajectory - straight line through limbo...