I'm sorry to hear you are in a tough situation. I totally feel you, heartbroken, so am I. I just recently unfollowed H's instagram and deleted facebook app from my phone. Believe me it was hard. I used to check H's activity all the time, not because I suspected him doing anything wrong, but I guess that shows my neediness and dependancy on him I used to have.
Now I don't know what he is up to, which is really weird. I know very little about the man I used to share every little thing every day. But I am coming to terms with the fact that I can have no control over some things. No matter how anxious I get over what he is doing, who he is with, I can do nothing about it right now. If I knew he would go on a date, can I stop it? No,then it's better not to know about things that only give me hurt and axiety. It doesn't mean I won't go crazy and lose it. I probably will, but I'm just trying for my own sake...
My H does change his attitude all the time too. One day he acts like he really misses me, the next day he seems to want to have nothing to do with me. It is so so difficult not to have your hopes up when H seems to come around. I have to tell myself all the time that this will not resolve next week and I just have to be patient for a bumpy ride. No doubt my H is very confused, I believe so is your H. They don't know what they want, or they don't want to decide right now. They just act like little kids who like new toys, but still need their security blanket when they feel down.
How nice I should be to H is my issue all the time too! My DB coach told me to treat H as I treat my brother. I would treat him with love, but I wouldn't obsess about him or try to control him. Yeah I get that in my head, but I know it is difficult to put it into practice when your H, who you desperately want, is there. Sigh...
I'm in no position of giving you advise, but I just wanted to give you my support that I feel your pain...I hope you will get some great ideas from wise people on this board.
