Wow, after child support, rent, 1/2 mortgage payment, utilities at my rental, I will have a whopping 200/ month to spend on gas, groceries, medical bills, budget for a better car, entertainment and kid stuff.
Another lovely piece of this. I make about 70k and will get to actually enjoy 2400 year, isn't life grand!
All because she isn't happy, and needs to find herself. This will aid in detaching rather well, I think
Why are you paying rent AND half of the mortgage payment?
I pay half for the next 2 months, until the D is final. Mostly to protect my credit, and if we sell, protect my half. It is only 400, and just until December.
She still acts very concerned for me and my wellbeing, should I sit down with her and show her what she is doing financially to me? Will that appear needy, pushy, or could that possibly help to open her eyes?
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
You can, but I don't anticipate it doing anything. I don't think she's going to suddenly try to be accommodating to you. If discuss it more with your L and see if you can counter propose something more reasonable to you.
She has been as accommodating to me as possible, other than trying to give us a shot. She is acting like everything she says can make me mad, and always saying something like "don't take this the wrong way..." she wants everything split 50/50. In my heart, naive?, I think she is trying to leave everything open to R. Just says that she doesn't feel that way right now. I am being as short as possible when we do kid swaps, etc. I kinda think she is more WAW than WW, then she will say something that is completely selfish, and ignores the consequences.
Last edited by dday; 09/18/1511:50 AM.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
She has been as accommodating to me as possible, other than trying to give us a shot. She is acting like everything she says can make me mad, and always saying something like "don't take this the wrong way..." she wants everything split 50/50. In my heart, naive?, I think she is trying to leave everything open to R.
Would you agree that its just as likely that she is playing nice until the ink is dry on the divorce decree to help blind or distract you during the negotiations?
Originally Posted By: dday
Just says that she doesn't feel that way right now. I am being as short as possible when we do kid swaps, etc. I kinda think she is more WAW than WW, then she will say something that is completely selfish, and ignores the consequences.
Thats all well and good. But I dont think that she is going to just give you money because you ask for it. I firmly believe it is better handled through the L's at this point. Talk with your L to give a counterproposal that you two think is more reasonable.
I have made the sitch worse before I found this forum. I was the one that moved out, because I didn't want to displace my kids. I went into super husband mode. I tried to do more date nights, before she asked me for S. I am a fixer. I felt so insecure, worthless. Until this year, she was as good of a wife and mom as you would ever see. Now she is selfish, and isn't concerned that she is jeapordizing her kids college funds, the travel ball that SHE enjoys so much, and their quality of life is going drastically down. That is definately not the girl I married!
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Az, I am not sure what she is thinking. Or why she does this. We see the kids make a play, etc. And she looks at me beaming, and we connect for a few seconds. Like we always have... just like old times
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
I dont know either. Thats why I dont think its wise to sit down and try to talk to her about the finances. I think while theres a shot that it works, Im guessing its extremely low. Im pretty sure she already knows what your finances will look like.
Ok, thanks. I was hoping that if she still "cares", even as a friend, or about the quality of life her kids will have when they are with me, she may rethink some things.
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Well, I have mediation round 2 in an hour. I feel like I have regrown a pair today. Do I tell her that I am fed up, and that I don't want this person she has become. I want the old her back. Or do I say nothing and let my actions show it?
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
