Judy, Judy, Judy, (in my best Rock Hudson impression)
I am truly happy that you are having a much better day. I think that yes, that is a huge step and relief that your H apologised for such a terrible word. I would consider this an opportunity to take the higher road and set some boundaries. Perhaps something along the lines of " I truly appreciate your apology, your words hurt me more than you can imagine. In the future, for the sake of our family, you cannot use that tone and certainly not that language with me again. I will treat you with respect and I expect the same from you."
Just my 2 cents
Judy, I think the time to have a line like this is after he does something unacceptable like calls you a horrible name.
Now he has acknowledged that and apologized, this seems like bad timing on when to slap the boundary line.
If you had I'm guessing he would've rolled his eyes and thought to himself "I shouldn't have said it but I guess it's true..." Instead you SHOWED how much it impacted you, and were graceful in accepting his apology. Nuff said.
Now, if this happens again then address it at the time it happened, or certainly prior to any positive behavior.
I know he's a WAH, but H's want to know they can win the game. The game is being good enough for their W's. Often when they walk it's because of perpetual criticism either directly (nagging, scorn, disdain) or indirectly (withholding sex, disrespectful behavior). So I'd be hesitant to come across as critically or judgmentally. You don't have to do that to set a boundary. In fact, you don't need to use words at all. You can just walk away, and if he follows and demands to know why you're leaving you can say "I'm ready to discuss this when you can address me respectfully" and leave it at that. That is a boundary, not an attack. Big difference. I think you handled it fine, but this would be fine too.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
