Finally asking for help: 2

[Avanti]

Your being depressed does help to understand why you are seeing things the way you are.

Without wishing to be too intrusive, have you spoken to a doctor? If not you should, if you have are you taking medication?

I have to say the med's really didn't work for me, in fact they made me worse, much worse. Plus, who wants to wait weeks to see if something works or not, I needed help then and there, not a some point In the future when the right dosage of the right compound was found almost through trial and error. That's not the same for everyone I know, if it works or is working for you stick with it.

I am so pleased that I found non-spiritual Mindfulness Meditation, that comes out of research into depression at Oxford University, UK Type "mindfulness meditation Oxford university " into Google and you can look for yourself. There's a book called Mindfulness by Mark Williams and Danny Penman, that started me off down the right track. Ask your doctor about it too, health professionals are getting on board more and more.

Now whenever I start to get dark thoughts or my mind feels like it's out of control, I have the perfect tool to calm it down, wherever I am and almost whatever I am doing.

Until your depression starts to ease through whatever route you choose I would simply focus on you for now. Until you are on the mend, everything your wife does will frustrate you and you'll potentially make decisions you regret later. Get Solo15 better first, then focus on the next steps with your M and your R with your wife. Keep on meeting up with friends and doing stuff to get you out and about, some say running helps and I'd have to agree, do you keep yourself reasonably fit? If not, maybe now's the time to move in that direction...

Keep posting, but don't get caught up in too much R or M stuff, tells us about how your depression is feeling, there are many out there suffering with it too and so you'll help them, while helping yourself. You're far from alone, we are all here to help you.