The second question is more of an observation and not meant to insult anyone in any way. I just notice that every time I look at the posts of people giving this information, their signature line says "Mediation set for end of September" or "Divorced in June". I understand that for some of those folks, it ain't over till it's over, but it just seems like if they were doing what they are preaching, it didn't appear to work. As a matter of fact, it is pretty depressing to look at the track records here. To listen to these coaches, they have a phenomnal success rate. But maybe that is with people who actually pay the big bucks and both parties attend their sessions.
Speaking for those headed for D, no offense taken. The people that come here typically arrive when the MR has deteriorated beyond or close-to-beyond repair. Furthermore, most, including you and I, BTW, have a lot of difficulty applying DB principles in the beginning. That does not mean the DB principles are flawed. In retrospect, had I discovered DB earlier and applied the principles properly at that time, I believe that I may have been able to save my M - if it was worth saving, which brings me to my next point:
After a while, your definition of success changes. At the beginning, success, for me, meant saving my M - at any cost. Now, success means detaching from a flawed person whom I cannot control and raising my children as a great father. In the beginning, your ego hurts from getting dumped. You would do anything to get your W back, even though she is treating you like dirt. However, once you recognize you true value, you realize that you can only control your own actions and you use your new-found intellect to drive decisions that are in your best interests. In short, you become a MAN.
Originally Posted By: Flight
And thanks for sharing RAI about your sitch. Two years, wow, I feel your pain and it scares me a little. I can't see going though this for that long.
