Take it from someone who DID successfully reconcile their marriage, this "supplication/pursuit" thing you're doing never works. You keep coming up with very well-written justifications for doing it, but from where I sit I see PURSUIT and ENMESHMENT, and not DETACHMENT.
Let me ask it this way: Do you think at any point in your sitch your wife has had any credible fear that she might be losing you? I know, I know -- "not that she cares" and all, but irrespective of that -- HAS SHE?
I have never in all my time here seen a wayward or walkaway spouse return to their betrayed spouse (and have it last) until they had some gut-level fear that they were moving on without them.
