First Post, She just Left, Very unsure

[sandi2]

Have you received your Divorce Remedy and read it? In reading some other threads, you may get confused about some of the terms you hear. The Last Resort Technique and Dropping the Rope and Going Dark, etc., may be confusing. Dropping the Rope is when you really do let go of her and move on with your life. Going Dark is when you fall off the planet and she never hears or seeing anything out of you (Which is nearly impossible if you co-parent a child).

Sandi, if you read this, I read your post on the WW, do you have or is there something similar for WAW(left for reasons other than A)?

Did you read all the threads? I think there are 4 or 5. The first link is in Cadet's homework.

Here's how I see it. If she does not have justifiable reasons to break up her family and inflict her little girl with the pain of having divorced parents, then I would consider her wayward. Waywardness is not based on being in an A, only. Even if you have not seen evidence of an A, her attitude and actions are shouting "wayward".

She has expressed her lack of respect for you as a man. She resents being married to you, and she is displaying rebellion instead of conforming to her marriage. Those three areas are the common denominator in WW's.

I keep thinking that if I am nice, supportive, loving, respectful, that she will see it and come back.

Seems like that would be the logic thing to do, doesn't it? However, you have a W who is anything except logical.

If she was wanting to save the M, then all those nice things might matter to her, IDK. I just know they don't matter to her now. That is what so many newcomers don't get. The WW is not interested; she doesn't care; and she doesn't want the nice H. She's done, through, kaput, and over it.

That's not to say things can't change some day, but I believe with most WW's, it doesn't happen quickly or easily.

All those things she spouted off to you about going out and spending money, etc, was b/c of four main reasons. 1) she wants to be in control of you; 2) she wants to make you feel guilty; 3) she is jealous; 4) she is testing your emotional attachment to her (we call it temperature check).

In nearly every thing she does or says to you, one of these 4 things will come into play with a WW.

You need to separate your bank accounts.