ha Sunny I actually smiled huge when I read yours. It is exactly how I felt. I felt happy I left and finally set the boundary I would not put up with any more. I felt sad leaving the kids and my family. Mad at myself for my behavior and sad it happened the way it did. A part of me was also glad I got that angry because it was what gave me the strength to leave. I am glad it will give me a chance to rebuild a relationship with my father and grandmother. I am very scared to rebuild a relationship with my father and have no idea what to believe or not believe. He tells D8 he will do all these things with her but I am scared to believe its true because he never did those things with us. It gave me a very weird uncomfortable feeling when he gave me a one armed hug. He never hugged us never said I love you ect so it was weird.
You are right he split them up. He chose to have the A and not end it. I chose to better myself and continue working. Sure I had slip ups but I did not go outside of our R and I did work on me definatly not enough and not hard enough or for the right reasons but I still made a few small changes.
I am sure in time he will start sweet talking as of right now he will only talk to me if it is for himself or like when I was at the house. I am not sure if he was finding reasons to keep me there or if he was just remembering things as he walked through the house. Either way it is what it is. I will definatly have to watch for different behaviors. I said hope you are having a great day and never got a response. I assume he is running on anger and adrenaline as he now has all of these things he needs to figure out.
IF he decides to come back and want to work on things. i will be expecting him to prove he can be in a committed healthy relationship. I will not allow him to use me to cheat on her anymore. He needs to end that R and start this one on fresh terms. He will have to regain my trust. I am putting down the law that we will not move in together for at least a year. i am not continuing this cycle. He will have to attend IC and apologize. I know I also have a lot of work to do. A long road to recovery ahead of me. I am not willing to jump into anything.
It scares me he may not come back but I guess that was a chance I took leaving. Just like the book says if it isn't working do something else. Well staying was not working so I did something else. Now we well just have to wait and see what the results of this are!
