Some of the stuff you write saddens me. You are a person, a child of God, a Father, a Son, and a human being, you deserve respect from others but more importantly you need to have respect and love for yourself. Begin your new journey, your work on being a better version of yourself there. Love yourself, Respect yourself, know your worth, work on your self-esteem. Go out and do things you never thought you would have done. You have time, make it about you, and take the kids out from time to time, make sure they see you for the great father you are and want to be.
Forget about your wife for now, that doesn't mean you'll love her any less, but she is not there for you anymore, she does not respect you, she does not care about your feelings at the moment; so why should you care for hers? I don't mean be a jerk with her, just be firm and don't allow her to walk all over you (or anyone else). Cut the phone off if it makes sense, could you use the money? Have her support herself, isn't that what she wanted? Is she waiting for the opportunity to leave the house to live with OM? These are things I would be thinking of.
Don't be afraid of your wife, all you are doing by detaching is ensuring that she is responsible for herself and her decisions. We all have to pay the consequences of our actions, that's part of being human.
I would recommend reading the books "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "Co-Dependent No More". They will help with working on yourself and loving yourself again, meeting your needs and wants, because no one else is going to do it for you.
God Bless and Good Luck; We are rooting for you.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
