Shall I Ask her about the affair...

[sandi2]

Please don't see what I'm pointing out as me trying to cause you more pain. IMHO, it seems you have been a good man who has thought that no arguing and going along with whatever the W wants, makes a good MR. It could have been a way you sought to have peace, IDK. I don't think she respected you very much.

She has always been the boss and if she wanted to do something then she would regardless of my feelings.

Just re read your post she never showed any disrespect always good to me everything a man could have in a wife I had ( except the sex which I s'pose i'd got used to not having)

When a M is sexually starved (without health problems), how can it be good? What would you say is to blame for no sex? Did she want to have sex, or would she give some excuse?

At the moment she says she is not sure if she can rekindle the sexual side as she sees me as a brother or as her best friend.

So, did the subject come up about having sex, or about her sleeping with you?

I am sorry you are feeling so much hurt since she's come back. She didn't come back to reconcile the MR. She came back to have her home and family. There's a difference. Seeing you as a brother or BFF is not what you should want.

You have "settled" for however she decided things would go for so long! Don't you think you deserve better?

Go to the doctor about your low sex drive. There is usually a reason and it can be fixed. You need to feel more assertive and confident. Start by making that appointment. And, btw, you don't need to discuss it with her. I can tell you that it will only turn her off. She doesn't even want to hear things about sex from you. Just go do it.

Things can change, but you definitely have your work cut out. Stop expecting her to change her mind. Stop trying to nice her back. Being nice didn't stop her from leaving, and it won't make her feel attraction for you. However, putting on the pants, might.